This week's instructions:Setting: An office building - A secondary character says: “Look, somebody has got to make a decision.” Your main character offers a solution.
I'm sitting in my cubicle, trying to ignore the knobs who are gathered in the break room, eating my lunch and surfing the Internet. I'd like to be wearing my headphones also, mostly to block out the discussion that creeps its way over the short space that separates my desk from the kitchen/breakroom but the boss said if I stay at my desk during my lunch hour, I need to look professional in case anyone wanders in for a consultation. Although the chance of that happening is about as thin as that flimsy, silk blouse she wears every time Mr. Pearson is scheduled to come into the office. As if that would work! I know for a fact that Mr. Pearson enjoys the company of girls much younger than my boss, who, to her disadvantage, evacuated the state of "girlhood" a long, long time ago. The perv actually propositioned me last February! He leaned across my desk when he thought no one was looking and salivated, "You know, Karine, I could help you get a leg up around here, if you wanted."
Anyways, back to the incessant noise coming from behind me. I swear these guys are going to drive me nuts with their never-ending debates over which Superhero has the ultimate power. Today they are pitting Iron Man against the Incredible Hulk. I'd choose Iron Man just because Robert Downey Jr. is way cuter than the old guy who used to play the Hulk on TV. Sure he's had a problem with drugs or alcohol or whatever it was in the past, but he's totally done with that now. Well, obviously I don't know that for sure, but he must
be because no woman as smart as his wife looks would put up with that nonsense for long. Besides, who could really get into a guy who turns green every time he gets a little pissed off?Anyways...
there was a box of donuts left on the table from this morning's staff meeting and I can now hear the dweebs trying to decide who gets the last one. I guess the sugar and fat from their previous feeding frenzy has worn off because they all sound a little irritable, you know, the way a girl gets during a certain time of the month?
I could feel the hairs on my neck get all prickly the way they do when something really starts to bug me so I decided right then and there that I had to do something about these guys. They are starting to sound like a flock of seagulls fighting over a piece of garbage. So I march myself into the kitchen, right over to the table where the open box of donuts shows one glistening, glazed prize is left. Darrin doesn't see me because his back is to the door and he says, "Look, somebody has GOT to make a decision."
I reach over his shoulder, take the donut and look each of them in the eye: Bill, Gary, that weird South American guy whose name I can never remember, Harold and finally Darrin. They're all staring at me like they think I'm going to do something drastic and then I lick the glaze off the top of that donut and put it back.
"Wonder Woman would kick all of your Superheros' asses. She's strong, she's smart and when she has PMS, you'd all better watch the hell out 'cuz she's one nasty bitch. Besides, they'd all be distracted looking at her boobs."
They stood frozen in their places, staring after me as I walked back to my desk, grabbed my iPod and left the building.